The Grand Plan
by Vaeyana
Summary: Remus knows he's in for trouble when James announces he has yet another of his infamous 'Grand Plans'. Things look worse when James enlists Sirius' help. Re-Started and finally with new content!
1. Chapter One

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own Harry Potter :(

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**Chapter One: In Which James Has A 'Grand Plan'.  
**

"Boys", James announced as he sat down at the Gryffindor table one morning. "I have a Grand Plan".

"Good Lord" muttered Remus, burying his head in his hands. Every one of James's 'Grand Plans' seemed to end in chaos, with Remus, the ever responsible prefect, being the one who had to bail James out of whatever trouble he had inevitably landed himself in.

"Does it involve Lily?" asked Peter, warily.

"Err, no. No it doesn't", answered James, sounding quite surprised himself. Shaking himself slightly, he continued. "I've been thinking—"

"Jeez, really? Don't over-exert yourself Potter, it could be detrimental to your health!" Lily sneered, as she walked past with her friends. They all giggled at James's affronted expression, before walking away to sit at the far end of the table.

"Well", James spluttered. "Well, Evans, maybe if you—"

"Prongs mate, let it go." interrupted Sirius, stopping James from continuing what would no doubt become yet another infamous Potter/Evans showdown.

Normally Sirius would be the first to encourage their fights, which had become a source of entertainment for the rest of the school, some even going so far as to attempt to organize a pool on who would emerge victorious. However, their last argument had somehow ended with Sirius being accidentally transfigured into a peacock. While he had been almost completely put right buy the school nurse, he had still retained a peacock's raucous squawk for the next few days, letting out shrieks at very inopportune moments. It was still a source of constant embarrassment to Sirius, who had endured his friends' teasing for days.

James sighed and turned back to his friends. "Yes well", he began again, trying to remember what he'd been saying. "Oh! Yes, I've been thinking. It's time", he said dramatically, "that we find Remus a girl!"

Remus choked, spraying Sirius, opposite him, with pumpkin juice.

"I mean", continued James, ignoring Remus's cries of protest, and Sirius' spluttering, as he swept his now sopping hair to the side, "Sirius has got what's-her-name from Ravenclaw…"

"No he doesn't", interrupted Peter. "That was last week, it's what's-her-face from Hufflepuff now".

"Exactly my point!" James exclaimed. "He doesn't have any problems with girls." He carried on, "…and I've got Lily…"

"You haven't got Lily, mate," laughed Sirius. "Or did you miss that a few minutes ago?"

James threw him a disgruntled look. "You _know_ what I mean".

"I don't," piped Peter. His comment was ignored by the others.

"And Peter…well, we'll worry about Peter later, shall we?"

"Look," Remus interrupted, before James could get any more carried away, "I'm fine, okay? I really don't need any help, _especially _when it's in the form of one of your 'Grand Plans'".

"Ah! That's where you're wrong, Mooney my friend. You've had no girlfriend that we've known of and you're sixteen! It's our duty, as friends, to save you from an otherwise inevitable Snape-fate!"

"A what now?" Sirius asked, curiosity plastered on his face with the remaining pumpkin juice.

"Still living at home with your mother when you're 40".

Sirius and Peter laughed appreciatively, while Remus still looked apprehensive.

"So you see why you need our help!"

"Wait…our?" interjected Sirius.

"Yes, of course. Padfoot, we couldn't possibly doom Mooney to that life!"

"No…" Sirius said slowly, liking the idea more and more. "No, we couldn't possibly!"

He turned to look at James, both cracking identical, evil grins. They both turned back to look at Remus, who cringed noticeably under the joint gaze.

"So it's settled. Sirius and I will take it upon ourselves to help and teach you!"

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**A/N: **So I first wrote this story when I was about 17. It was my first attempt at fan-fiction, and my first multi-chapter story of any kind. I was unfortunately, a little overly-ambitious. As a result, once I wrote this first chapter, I posted it, without having really planned the story out in its entirety. Then that story kind of sat here, without being updated, as I posted a few one-shots that were the kind of beginner's stories I should have started with.

My bad.

I am pleased to say that, after a few years experience I have finally planned this story out and am ready to start updating! I can't promise, with RL etc, regular updates, but I'll do the best I can!

Thankyou to everyone who put this story on their favourites/alerts lists! I am so sorry it's taken so long! I hope it lives up to your expectations.

- Vae x


	2. Chapter Two

DISCLAIMER: If I owned Harry Potter, a lot more of what exists in fan-fiction would be canon. Unfortunately, I don't own it.

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**Chapter Two: In Which The Marauders Spy On Various Students of the Female Persuasion**

"What about her?" Sirius whispered, rather loudly.

"Nah, she's a nutter. Won't eat certain vegetables, because she thinks they have 'feelings'." James replied, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, but still...she's bloody fit! Doesn't that trump craziness? I dunno, maybe you could overlook it as an...adorable quirk, or something?"

Remus closed his eyes and let out an exasperated huff at his friends' antics, as they debated the merits of crazy vs attractiveness.

It was the day after James had made his announcement. The four boys were crouched at the top of the main staircase, peering through the banisters at the crowd—or more specifically, girls—that milled in the Entrance Hall below before dinner. The four made quite an interesting spectacle, with many passers-by giving them odd looks. James and Sirius were lying flat on their stomachs, with Peter kneeling awkwardly behind them, all intently gazing below. James, fervently supported by Sirius, had lobbied for all-black outfits, preferably with balaclavas, for "surveillance purposes". Remus had quickly squashed that train of thought by declaring that "We're not bloody _ninjas_ James! And isn't the whole alleged point of this—though I still fail to see the point of this entire thing—to remain inconspicuous?" Grudgingly, James and Sirius had agreed that yes, perhaps four people in black running around the castle with stockings over their heads would stand out a bit and furthermore, were more likely to be mistaken as robbers or criminals and hexed.

Unfortunately, Remus had been unable to similarly convince the others to forgo the entire 'Grand Plan', and so now found himself sitting against the wall, as far from his 'friends' as possible and fervently hoping that no one would notice him.

He let out a sigh. This was getting, quite frankly, ridiculous. He'd been sitting up here, on the draughty staircase for the better part of an hour, rather than being in the Great Hall eating a hot meal with all the other sane people. "Can we go now?" he asked.

"Shush," hushed James, without turning around. "Oh, what about her?"

"Taken," answered Peter. "I walked in on them a few days ago in an empty classroom".

James airily brushed aside this particular fact. "Ah, anything could have happened in a few days."

"Yeah, but he wouldn't want to be some bird's rebound!" Sirius said.

Remus physically restrained himself from saying that actually, he didn't necessarily want any girl, regardless of whether she was on the rebound or not, and settled for glancing at his watch and banging his head against the wall for good measure. He had an inkling he'd be ignored anyway.

"You never seem to see that as a problem."

"Yeah, but this is Mooney we're talking about, for him, it's demeaning. For me, it's like every girl's my rebound!"

"True."

Remus's brow wrinkled as he tried to understand Sirius' logic, before giving up.

"I am here, you know," he said from his corner, eyes fixed on the ceiling. He wished he'd brought a book, or something. If he couldn't eat, the least he could do was get started on his Transfiguration homework. Instead, he went over the ingredients for a Calming Draught in his head. He suspected he's need one, once this entire debacle was over.

The boys' observations went on for another quarter of an hour, until their own hunger got the best of them. Remus was quite surprised they'd managed to last this long without food. Scrambling to his feet, he trotted down the stairs, the others trailing despondently behind him.

Once their plates were piled high with mashed potatoes, roast chicken and gravy, and Remus could once against feel the tips of his toes, the conversation, to his horror, turned back to the plan.

"Well," sighed Sirius, setting down his goblet. "You could always have one of the girls I've—"

"Hell no!" Remus interrupted, gesturing with a chicken leg for emphasis. "I am not going anywhere Sirius has been, thank you very much! I have my pride."

"Well." Said James. "There goes that idea".

"Look, you've got to stop being so close-minded. We're only trying to give you a hand here!"

Remus rolled his eyes at Sirius. "I know that, but you just don't seem to get that I've got enough on my plate without having to worry about a girlfriend as well, like—" his eyes opened wide, and he frantically looked at his watch. "Like a Runes project! Damn, I'm supposed to be meeting Evelyn in fifteen minutes!" he cried out, oblivious to the way the other boys' eyebrows had shot up. He turned back to his meal and began shovelling food down.

"Of course, I'm such an idiot!" said James. "Evelyn!

Remus completely agreed with James' assertion that he was an idiot, but he wasn't too sure how Evelyn tied into things. "What about her?" he asked confusedly, around a mouthful of potato.

"Well, she's a girl and even better, she's your friend. And obviously you have common interests; no one does bloody Runes if they don't like it!"

Remus finally caught up with where James was going, and burst out laughing. "Oh no! We're just friends, trust me. Anyway, she has a boyfriend, Gavin, that seventh-year from Ravenclaw? They've been dating for a few months now. I think it's pretty serious, actually".

James' broad grin abruptly faded, as he slumped back down in his chair. "Damn it, Mooney! You're not exactly making this easy for us!"

"And what on earth gave you the impression I was trying to make things easy for you? In case you haven't noticed, I am pretty much dead against this entire plan!" Remus leapt to his feet, swigging down the rest of his pumpkin juice. "I've got to go, I'm incredibly late. I'll see you guys later in the common room, yeah?" Peter gave a small wave, as James and Sirius nodded and turned back to each other, arguing over their next course of action. Checking his watch again, Remus ran from the Hall.


	3. Chapter Three

DISCLAIMER: Once again, I don't own Harry Potter. I wish I did, but I don't.

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**Chapter Three: In Which Arguments Are Had, and Runes Are Studied.**

Evelyn Barrows sat in a quiet corner of the library, Spellman's Syllabary lying open before her. Various other Runes texts were spread across the well-worn desk. However, it was apparent that her attention was most decidedly elsewhere. Her chin lay propped on one hand, while the fingers of the other absently fiddled with her quill, as she frowned at the retreating back of her boyfriend.

"I'll come by and pick you up later, yeah?" he had said, as he left for his own study group.

"Honestly, Gavin, it's fine. I'm perfectly capable of walking back to the common room. He's not like his friends anyway, you know that! We're just friends, have been for a long time and, quite frankly, I'm a little offended by how little you trust me!"

"It's not you, Evie, it's him. He's a little better than the others, I'll grant you, but he's still friends with them, and he still goes along with whatever ridiculous schemes they decide to get up to, so you'll understand if I don't trust him." His eyes furtively darted around the shelves, as if he expected her Runes' partner to emerge at any second, ready to sweep her away for dastardly deeds right in front of him.

She had huffed. "Fine!" She replied, through clenched teeth. "But I hope you realise just how ridiculous you're being." She paused, looking up at Gavin under a puzzled, furrowed brow. "I don't know what you've got against his friends anyway, you've hardly had anything to do with them!"

"I don't need to! I mean, they call themselves the _Marauders _for Merlin's sake!" Gavin seemed to puff indignantly up before her, as if the Marauders' exploits were a personal affront to him. He continued to plow determinedly through his spiel. "I'd say that speaks enough for their arrogance! And yet, they get away with bloody murder! It's sickening, how everyone just fawns over them, and don't get me started on—"

Evelyn thrust a hand out, cutting him off mid-sentence. "And you think what, exactly? That everyone should fall over themselves for you, instead?"

At least he had the grace to look slightly guilty at this, before sputtering defensively.

Recalling their argument, she let out a growl. Honestly, his pig-headedness and thinly-veiled jealousy when it came to anything to do with the Marauders was frustrating, not to mention rather tiresome. This resentment, combined with her close friendship with one of the boys was the only thing Gavin and she had been unable to agree upon, and caused their only arguments. However, the intensity of these quarrels made her wonder why she ever agreed to date him in the first place.

With this thought, she sighed and slumped forward over the desk, anger giving way to exhaustion, and a small measure of guilt. No. Despite his faults, Gavin was perfect for her. He's smart, confident and handsome and he _likes _her, a lot, if the smiles and the side-ways glances he throws her in class are anything to go by. And that's more than can be said about—well, any other guy she may ever have had a potential interest in. And yes, perhaps he's also prone to jealousy (but doesn't that just speak for his protectiveness, and how much he wants _her, _of all people?) and maybe his hair is a little too dark, and his pompousness a little irritating at times, but she can hardly expect him to be perfect, can she? She sighed, roughly pushing a long lock of dirty-blonde hair behind one ear. The fact was, she was pretty bloody sick of always mooning over the unattainable, and letting her teenage years slip by, which was why, when her friends starting giggling to her about the handsome Ravenclaw's apparent interest in her, followed by his invitation to Hogsmeade a week later, she accepted. They truly did have quite a lot in common, and he always treated her with the utmost respect. Really, it was borderline selfishness for her to long for anything more.

Evelyn was diverted from the uncomfortable turn her thoughts had taken by a loud thump, as a towering pile of books was dropped on the table and promptly fell everywhere. She turned a grateful smile to her oblivious rescuer, and pulled her quill from her mouth, where she had begun to worry it between her teeth.

"So sorry I'm late! My friends were being idiots and I'm afraid I was a little side-tracked." Remus panted, looking a little worse for wear, with his shirt untucked and rumpled. He pushed his dishevelled hair away from his face with one hand, while the other desperately tried to re-organise his books. "Not that I'm trying to blame them, or anything," he added, hastily, "it's just that, well, I was a little distracted, when I know I should have been paying closer attention to the time—" He broke off, looking at her apologetically.

"It's quite alright, Remus. I haven't been here long myself", she said, leaning forward to help him replace the texts back into their precarious stack.

"Great!" He flashed her a quick grin, before sitting down. As she reached for parchment, he took in her overly-bright eyes and flushed face with a frown. "Are you alright?" he asked. She looked at him, eyebrows raised questionably. "It's just, you look a bit, er...stressed?"

She smiled tightly, mouth stretched into a thin line. "Yeah, I'm fine. Gavin and I had a bit of a disagreement, that's all." She pulled a textbook towards her, not wanting to go into things with Remus, of all people.

"Ah. Did—did you want to, er, talk about it?" he asked, tentatively.

Evelyn raised her eyes to gaze into his, searchingly. Remus' concerned eyes were guileless. There was absolutely nothing to hint at ulterior motives. She shook her head inwardly, exasperated. Couldn't Gavin see that clearly, Remus and she were nothing but friends? She smiled again at him, this time far more sincerely.

"Maybe later. For now, all I want to do is get a good head-start on this project of ours."

Remus grinned. "Sounds good to me! So I was thinking, perhaps we could look at how runes can be applied to the potions field, since it's another subject we're both interested in..."

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Two hours later, Remus and Evelyn lay slumped over their desk, parchments covered in elaborate runic designs strewn around them. Raising her weary head, Evelyn gazed blearily across the desk. "I think we've done as much as we can for now," she said, massaging at her temples, where a throbbing headache raged. "How about we call it a night, and meet up same time next week?"

"Thank God" Remus groaned. "I love Runes, I really do, but this is just brutal! Trust us to pick such a complex topic."

Evelyn laughed, as she began packing her quills and parchment scrolls back into her bag. "Very true." Pulling her Syllabary towards her, she added teasingly, "I'd better let you get back to your friends, anyway. Who know what sort of schemes they're coming up with now, without you there to r calming influence?"

"Honesty, I'd rather not. You wouldn't believe what James' come up with this time!"

Evelyn's cocked eyebrow prompted him to elaborate. "It's ridiculous, as most of his plans are, of course, but he's taken it upon himself to er...well, find me a girlfriend." He went on to outline the "Grand Plan", looking increasingly embarrassed as he did.

Evelyn's eyes widened, before she broke into raucous laughter. Remus, looking thoroughly disgruntled, leant forward to shush her, looking around for the stern librarian, who had a habit of swooping down on unsuspecting students she felt were disturbing the sacred peace of the library.

"Thank you," he said dryly, a small hint of a smile belying his words. "It's so nice to know I have such supportive friends."

She continued to laugh at her friend's expense. "I'm sorry, Remus, I really am, it's just...it's completely absurd! Surely they know you're perfectly capable of finding a girlfriend for yourself, if you were interested? Knowing how James and Sirius carry on, they'll be lucky if they don't end up in front of McGonagall for looking like stalkers or something. " She chuckled again. "Oh thank you, Remus! You have no idea how much I needed a laugh." Her expression sobered slightly. "It's been a bit of a rough day."

Remus reached out and took her hand, as he waited for her to continue, at her own pace.

"It's just Gavin and stuff, you know? He doesn't exactly...approve of our friendship, and whenever I tell him to shove it, he blows up into some huge, jealous rage for no apparent reason. He's so bloody stubborn sometimes!" She broke off suddenly, and screwed up her face apologetically. "Sorry" she said. "I don't want to just lump all my problems on you, but it just happened, so I suppose I'm still pretty worked up about it."

"Nah, it's alright. What are friends for, after all?" Remus smiled at her, reassuringly. "I'm sure he'll come around, once he realises that we really are just friends, yeah?"

Evelyn smiled sadly. "Yeah, I suppose so." Taking her hand away from under Remus', she collected the last of her books and pushed her chair back.

"Right, I'd better be off then. Got to face whatever's next in James' plan." Remus stuffed the last quill in his pocket, before rising to his feet.

"You're going to go through with it then?"

He snorted. "Doesn't look like I have much of a choice. I'll never hear the end of it! I'd rather just play along and prove them wrong while I do."

Giggling, as she stood and swung her battered, leather book-bag over one shoulder, Evelyn said "Well, be sure to keep me posted! I wait with bated breath for the next instalment in the saga that is Remus Lupin's Enforced Romance."

Remus shot her a mock glare, shaking his head, before grinning and raising his hand in farewell. "I'll see you in class next Wednesday, then? Night!"

"Night, Remus!" Evelyn called after him. Her eyes followed him out of the library, before she bit her lip, shaking her head slightly. Reluctantly, she turned around, heaving her heavy bag with her, in search of Gavin.

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**A/N: **Yes, I know, it's surprising that after three years of no updates, I've managed two in a few days. I'm on holidays soon, so chapter may be produced faster...hopefully. That's the plan, anyway. Please read and review, it only takes a few moments! (Yes, I am not above begging for reviews).

Thanks for reading!

- Vae x


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